Wednesday, March 26, 2014

THE NESTS WE BUILD


This past weekend, we bought a new birdfeeder. We placed it in a tree in our backyard that we can see from our windows. We filled the birdbath underneath, and watched as two little bird ate, drank, and then began building a nest in our lilac bush. A home surrounded in sweetness.
 
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Both my kids have a things for birds. They have a game they play where they build "trees" from blocks and fill up "nests" made from baskets with old Easter eggs. They place tiny plastic birds in the eggs and help them "hatch." It's charming and sweet.
 
"Look mama, the mama bird built a house for her eggs!"
 
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I've been thinking a lot about the homes we make for our children. I've tried to make a home where my children are loved and respected, where they can learn, where jokes and laugher are. A place with trust and kindness and joy. I've tried to make a place where there are expectations to be met, and just punishments, and forgiveness. A place and people they can count on and know that they can always, always, always come home to us. (But they better have their own place by 22, because, come on. I also want them to be independent.)
 
I feel that this nest we are building, one bit at a time, is a solid one. That it will stand the rain and the wind, and predators. I hope this. The husband and I were talking the other night about just staring at our children as they sleep, thinking over the things that we may have done wrong that day. Did we raise our voice, lose patience, snap when we didn't need to? Almost always, there is something. But we talked about what was done right that day. Did we hold hands, read a favorite story, give a hug, wish them a good day? These are things that happened everyday, no matter how much patience is lost or what kind of edge is in my voice, these things happen everyday at our house. And they'll be done tomorrow, too.
 
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Birds build their nest, lay their eggs and do their best to hatch them well. The mothers will often go without food or even water to protect those eggs. The fathers will attack those that are larger than them without thinking twice to keep those eggs safe. They feed them and care for them. And then they teach them to fly and let them use those wings
 
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This is what I want for my children. A strong home, that we have build, one part at time, protecting them from those that wish them harm, and letting them have wings, surrounded by sweetness.