WHEN THINGS FALL INTO PLACE

hip hip hooray, we had (another) great day

Sometimes, things fall into place. Sometimes, you're in a house, in a neighborhood, taking your kids to school, doing a job you love and your husband is home for dinner every single night. And you find yourself not having to remind yourself, "Be present" because you just are. You're not telling yourself "the days are long but the years are short" through gritted teeth because you're just enjoying the days.
Part of this falling into place is just the place we are at in general. My kids are big, but not too big. They can put on their own shoes, they can buckle their own seat belts, we never ever need a stroller (PRAISE THE LORD), we can take them places and not have it be a huge production. They still like to hang out with us and we don't embarrass them yet. It's spring time-where the days are warmer and longer and that alone can make things feel better. You could say we're in a good season-in both life and nature.

But there is a little more right now: we love our home (not always the case when you move every few years), we love our neighborhood (same), and the school the kids are attending is fantastic (also: same). Both Neal and I like our jobs and work decent hours. We love this duty station and the town we live in-which is always a blessing because we don't get to chose. And while there are issues, like any where or place (a move in the middle of the school year is not easy), we are so content here.

It feels like home, in a way the last three years did not. It feels like everything has fallen into place for the time being, and I am grateful for it every day.

MYERS BRIGGS & KNOWING YOUR PERSONALITY

I've been fascinated by the ideas of the Myer Briggs test for a few years now. It's a psychological theory that there are 16 personalities, which through a series of questions, you can gage yours and then better understand how you see and work in the world. Your personality is determined by four sets of preferences:

Favorite world: Do you prefer to focus on the outer world or on your own inner world? This is called Extraversion (E) or Introversion (I).

Information: Do you prefer to focus on the basic information you take in or do you prefer to interpret and add meaning? This is called Sensing (S) or Intuition (N).

Decisions: When making decisions, do you prefer to first look at logic and consistency or first look at the people and special circumstances? This is called Thinking (T) or Feeling (F).

Structure: In dealing with the outside world, do you prefer to get things decided or do you prefer to stay open to new information and options? This is called Judging (J) or Perceiving (P).

-from The Myers & Briggs Foundation

Answering honestly in the key to this test-you need to answer how you truly, honestly react in the situations provided verses how you wish/think you should act. I've taken the test and, when answering completely honestly, I'm a ISFJ (Introversion, Sensing, Feeling, Judging). Some highlights that are so very me:

-meticulous to the point of perfection.

-parenting is a task they were born for.

-their close inner circles are...truly cherished for their quality.

-from 16 Personalities

Reading the descriptions to your personality can be shockingly accurate. You can see yourself in the descriptions provided and it can be a bit unnerving. But ultimately, it's fascinating, and can be a true helper in better understanding yourself and those around you. It should be noted that all the personalities are equal; there isn't a goal to be a different personality or a "better" one. Myers Briggs is simply a tool to help you better understand yourself and how you see the world.

You can take your own (free, do-not-have-to-sign-up-for-anything) test HERE.

Let me know in the comments below what your Myers Briggs personality is, and what you think of the test!

ROUTINES

I am a person who likes a routine. Routines for the kids, for myself, for cleaning, for cooking. They make life feel easier; I get more done with less stress. I find calmness in my daily, weekly, monthly routines. And since meditation is something I cannot for the life of me manage, I take calmness where I can get it.

Last week: I went to bed Sunday night feverish and with a headache. I woke up feeling worse. And as one day turned into two, and all I felt was worse and worse, I drug myself to the doctor and was immediately diagnosed with pneumonia. I was directed to stay in bed, to sleep, to drink water. I was not to do any housework, I was not to drive, I was not to work, I was not to pick up my children. All my routines slipped through my fingers into a cloud of achy sleep.

When I managed to be awake, I watched my husband as he did e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. All the household things, all his work things, all the kids things, all of my things. All the routines. Not how I do routines. Not necessarily the way I do things. But everything, EVERYTHING, got done. Without compliant, with patience and love. And I love him for it. And I love that I am growing enough to have the grace to let my well loved routines go, to not panic when things aren't just so, to rest when I need to and let other, wonderfully capable and loving hands, take over.

This morning, feeling better, getting back to normal, I sat down to my normal morning routine. I sat down with a cup of black coffee and my bullet journal and planned my day out. I was thankful to be well, to have a loving family, and a partner who is truly that, and to be back to my own form of meditation. To my daily routines, which I cherish and love and am grateful to share with this little family of mine.

A GARDEN FOR SOMEONE ELSE

The other morning, the purple beans were ready. There were dozen of them, fat and ready to pick. They are always a favorite crop, because they're magic: they are purple on the vine, but the heat of cooking makes them green.

 

"Purple for Ava and green for Dylan." Ava says, satisfied with these vegetable that are willing to be both their favorite colors.

 

The garden is coming in like mad. The best crop of tomatoes I've had in the three years we've planted here. And corn sprouting on every stalk, the first time we've ever had success with it.

 



 

Basil growing in bushes already. I've already made my first batch of pesto and there is plenty more, waiting on the plants.

 

 

Pure heart watermelons, literally covering the vines, swelling everyday, waiting for the 4th of July.

 

And my cucumbers. I can always count on them.

 

This year, we planted edible flowers all through the garden, to encourage bees. And for making flower sandwiches.

 

 

The kids have their own bed and always plant sunflowers, and this year they chose the mammoth variety.

"Don't you want to plant anything else in your garden bed?"

"Where will our dinosaurs play if there are plants in the way?!"

I love my garden. I love working in it and the surprise of things suddenly there. One morning there is a tiny cucumber attached to a blossom. And in two days, it's huge and ready to be chopped up for a salad. Little seeds, that turn into this.

 

But this year, this garden isn't mine. Because soon, very soon, we will be leaving here and moving somewhere new. To start a new garden and grow new things. But for now, I'm tending tomatoes for someone else to enjoy. And I hope they enjoy them. I hope the new people who will live in this home partially chose it for the garden. For the idea of fresh veggies and the raised beds and all of it tended and ready just for them. But the truth is, it won't be mine anymore. And if they tear my garden out and put in a pool, if they cement it over for a basketball court, I hope they enjoy that too. Because it won't be mine anymore, it will be there's.

 

But until then, I'll water and weed, and pick cucumbers and watch for the first red tomato of the season.

THE NESTS WE BUILD

This past weekend, we bought a new birdfeeder. We placed it in a tree in our backyard that we can see from our windows. We filled the birdbath underneath, and watched as two little bird ate, drank, and then began building a nest in our lilac bush. A home surrounded in sweetness.

 

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Both my kids have a things for birds. They have a game they play where they build "trees" from blocks and fill up "nests" made from baskets with old Easter eggs. They place tiny plastic birds in the eggs and help them "hatch." It's charming and sweet.

 

"Look mama, the mama bird built a house for her eggs!"

 

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I've been thinking a lot about the homes we make for our children. I've tried to make a home where my children are loved and respected, where they can learn, where jokes and laugher are. A place with trust and kindness and joy. I've tried to make a place where there are expectations to be met, and just punishments, and forgiveness. A place and people they can count on and know that they can always, always, always come home to us. (But they better have their own place by 22, because, come on. I also want them to be independent.)

 

I feel that this nest we are building, one bit at a time, is a solid one. That it will stand the rain and the wind, and predators. I hope this. The husband and I were talking the other night about just staring at our children as they sleep, thinking over the things that we may have done wrong that day. Did we raise our voice, lose patience, snap when we didn't need to? Almost always, there is something. But we talked about what was done right that day. Did we hold hands, read a favorite story, give a hug, wish them a good day? These are things that happened everyday, no matter how much patience is lost or what kind of edge is in my voice, these things happen everyday at our house. And they'll be done tomorrow, too.

 

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Birds build their nest, lay their eggs and do their best to hatch them well. The mothers will often go without food or even water to protect those eggs. The fathers will attack those that are larger than them without thinking twice to keep those eggs safe. They feed them and care for them. And then they teach them to fly and let them use those wings

 

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This is what I want for my children. A strong home, that we have build, one part at time, protecting them from those that wish them harm, and letting them have wings, surrounded by sweetness.