We had another busy, fun weekend! Here's a few highlights:
I was honored to be asked to make flag for a Gold Star Mothers Memorial Ruck. Gold Star Mothers are mothers who have lost a son or daughter in combat. This ruck (a 10K with a loaded backpack) was made up of 21 teams, each who carried one of these flags with the name of a service person who gave their life. I hand cut each of the Gold Star and thought of each of those Mothers as I made them.
My Saturday mornings are devoted to meal planning, grocery shopping, and food prep for the week. I'll be writing a more indepth post about my process soon.
The kids went to a birthday party at Sky Zone. We'd never been there, but will defiantly be going back, especially with the cold winter days that are coming! So fun.
On Sunday we headed to Philadelphia for Boo at the Zoo! We're members of the Philadelphia Zoo, and I highly recommend that if you're ever in Philadelphia that you check it out. It's the oldest zoo in America and the setting for The Trumpet of the Swan.
Love these three.
The leaves were on point this weekend! We've at the peak for fall foliage.
My baby girl got her first haircut this weekend. I wanted to take her to my salon, but the husband pointed out that $50 for a trim wasn't a smart financial decision. So she went with daddy to his place.
She looks so big now. And extra sassy.
An outtake from some family photos I took this weekend. This one pretty much sums up our kids.
We had oven baked ribs for dinner on Sunday. SO yummy! I served them with dairy free mashed potatoes, a big salad with a Dijon vingarette, and kamala olives.
Hope you had a great weekend! Grab a cup a coffee and get after this Monday.
A few days before school started, Ava and I sat down at our kitchen table with a bead set. On strings, we strung a rainbow of beads: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, flanked by white beads for clouds.
"Let's make best friend necklaces. That way when I'm at preschool, you can touch yours and think of me. And I'll touch mine when I miss you."
Ava was so excited to start preschool. She had longingly watched her brother go for the past four years and was excited to have a teacher and a classroom. The first day, she had her outfit picked out, and trotted off with out a tear or a look back.
"Good bye! I love you! See you later!"
I had been nervous. Although she's super outgoing and friendly now, as a baby and toddler, she had been painfully shy, terrified to be away from my husband and me. I was worried that some of that would resurface starting a full day preschool program. Even as she's grown in personality, she's always been a homebody. But she had a great first day! In fact, she had a great first week! She couldn't wait to get back on Monday! And Monday-also fantastic!
And then, things weren't so awesome anymore.
It started with a note from the teacher (her teacher writes notes to the parents everyday about how the day went). It mentioned that she was missing her mama and had been a little sad at school that day. And this continued. And then she was crying everyday at school. She wouldn't play with friends. She started crying at drop off and the relief on her face when I picked her up in the afternoons was obvious. She started crying at night at dinner, knowing she had to go back. She'd cry herself to sleep every night and all through breakfast in the morning.
"Mama, I just miss you SO MUCH at school." her little voice would say, choked with tears.
She was utterly miserable and I was heartbroken.
Slowly, over about a two week period, we were able to help her through her separation anxiety. Here's what worked for us:
1. Talking about feelings and going over the day in words. Her teacher would work on this with her at school by reminding her that she was at school to learn and play with friends and that it was okay to feel a little sad at first. At home, we would remind her about how mama always came back to get her. We would talk about the fun things at school and about her sad feelings and how it was alright to feel sad and nervous.
2.Communication with her teacher. We are so so so lucky that she has a fantastic teacher. She was great at communicating with us how the day had gone, what we needed to work on, and she kept her expectations of Ava clear and kind. She spent part of circle time talking about their "job" at school, and encouraging Ava to play with friends-even assigning a buddy to her to help comfort her.
3 & 4. Asking for help. I'm a problem solver; asking for help does not come easy to me. But I was at a loss with how to help my child, and I knew my thoughts of taking her out of school and quitting my (brand new) job to do homeschool preschool were unreasonable. So I talked to one of best friends, who was not only a preschool teacher for years, but also a shy child herself. She had some solid great advice, along with a very firm stance that Ava WOULD be okay and get over her separation anxiety. I needed to hear that. She also introduced us to this video:
This video seriously changed things around. I told Ava that one of her Auntie's had sent her a video that she thought might help her feel better about school. When she watched it she stopped crying and a huge look of relief came over her face. She looked at me and said, "Oh Mama, Auntie understands just how I feel." We've watched this video every single school morning since.
5. We had to have a loving, but firm talk about school. There came a point where we just had to sit down with her and firmly say, "You are in preschool now. Mama or Daddy is ALWAYS there to pick you up. Your teacher cares about you and wants to help you, and your new friends want to play with you. We want you to go to school and do the best you can today." We told her that we would walk her in, get her settled, and give ONE extra kiss and then we had to say goodbye. I don't think sneaking out is ever a good idea when leaving a child, but a prolonged good bye is almost equally bad. A quick loving goodbye was really essential.
6. A sticker chart. And finally, we did a ten day sticker chart. For everyday she didn't cry, she put up a sticker. At the end of ten days she got to pick out a little prize. The first couple stickers were hit or miss, but once she got into her groove, that sticker chart and the idea of a prize really helped motivate her. And at the end of the ten no cry days, we haven't had any tears since.
What didn't work: 1. Books about separation. When she first started getting upset, I pulled out our trusty copy of "The Kissing Hand". I thought that the story of the little raccoon would help her. She loved the story, but for all the wrong reasons. She would focus on the illustration of the raccoon crying about being away from home. "I know just how he feels." she would say. I also tried "Llama Llama Misses Mama." The story basically was her school day, from being sad at drop off to crying in front of everyone. She burst into tears just hearing the story.
2. Walking to school. We live close to the school, so for the first few days we walked. But once we left our home block, the walk became an anxiety ridden trek. Every step was hard, tears would fall, all the kids we walk with would repeatedly (sweetly!) ask her if she was okay, which she WAS NOT, and by the time we got to school she was in full blow melt down mode. Dylan has continued to walk with his group of friends, but I started driving Ava and it made a big difference. She gets a few extra quiet minutes at home with me, and the car ride is time to herself. By the time we get to school she's ready to see her teacher and start her day.
3. Play dates after school. We live in a very old fashioned neighborhood: all the kids play together outside until the street lights come on-literally. Kids are in and out of each others homes all the time. Ava is friends with a couple little girls on our street. But afterschool, even now where she is happy at school most days, she needs quiet time. She needs that time after school for family and at home. And I'm happy to give that to her. We save playdates for the weekends.
Separation anxiety with your child is hard stuff, but the number one thing you can do? Shake it off. Know that it will pass, know that you are doing the best you can, and that your little one (and you!)will be okay.
Welcome to a new series on the blog, What I Wore Wednesday! On Wednesdays I will feature an outfit I'm wearing that week, along with all the shopping details. For our first installment though, let's check out some Back to School style, courtesy of Dylan and Ava.
The kids went back to school last Thursday. Ava started preschool and Dylan started third grade.
Seriously, how did this happen? I still think of Ava as "the baby" and third grade seems SO OLD. I mean, he understands multiplication!
It's sad times. I mean, it's happy and exciting times, but sad yo.
But the clothes! Both the kids chose their own outfits and accessories.
She comes down in an Elsa dress-up dress, leopard print converse, and three bracelets. She asks for a braid, of course. To complete the Elsa look. I braid her hair and we load up in the car.
We pull into the grocery store parking lot. I help Ava unbuckle from her car seat and she hops down from the car into the parking lot. We hold hands as we maneuver across the asphalt. As we get closer to the store, she always asks, "Can I sit in the rocketship cart?!"
"Of course," I say.
I reach for one of the bulky carts with the plastic rocketship seat. It's blue today, and hard to move. I manage to get it out, and pick her up and place her in front of one of the wheels.
"Blast off!" she cries, joyfully.
"Blast off!" I repeat back.
****
The rocketship cart is cumbersome. It's annoying, in fact. Giant and yet not enough actual cart space for all the groceries. But every week, we use it. It brings a ridiculous amount of joy to Ava. She loves grocery shopping with me; she is always happy and cheerful and polite at the store. She drives her rocketship, she writes her own lists, she helps pick produce and cereal. I am happy to give her this cart in exchange for a happy shopper. I am happy to let her ride, because it won't be long before she is too big for the rocketship cart. And I want to hold onto to these little things for as long as I can.
****
Ava dresses herself everyday. She's done this since she was about 2 1/2. Many days she chooses dress up clothes. Elsa, Ariel, Rainbow. Crowns, sunglasses, gloves. Hair bows, usually more than one, mismatched socks on purpose. She inspects each outfit in detail and is always satisfied with how they turn out. "I look stylish!" is a daily refrain in our home. And with confidence like that, she's allowed to wear those clothes as we run errands.
She gets looks sometimes, and very occasionally comments. But I have no desire to take away her confidence in her choices. I have no desire to take this carefree, complete and utter happiness from my child. Not ever. Because it's likely, someday, she'll want to wear what everyone else is. She'll follow the trends of teenagers, and not want to go to the grocery store with me. But until then, we'll walk hand in hand through the grocery store parking lot, with a crown on her head and talking about choosing the color of our rocketship cart.
I've found that with a group of little kids, one game and a craft is sufficient for a party. They acted out scenes from Frozen outside in our playhouse as their "game" and for a craft we built snowmen from marshmallows, pretzels, and candied orange slices. I just set up a station and let the kids work on them throughout the party.
The kids loved it.
Ava had a fantastic time and the party turned out perfect. Happy birthday, baby girl!
There are so many lovely spring time crafts out there, aren't there? But some of them just seem a little overwhelming. Who wants to paper mache with a 1 year old? (Not this girl.) I wanted a simple craft that both of my children could enjoy. And these egg carton flowers and rabbits are just that.
This little craft is sweet, simple, and so easy. All you need is an egg carton, a pair of scissors, a few sheets of pretty paper, glue, and markers.
Cut out the "cups" of a cardboard egg carton. Trim them down a bit. Cut out some pretty paper into several leaf shapes.
For the flowers, glue the paper around the inside edge of the egg cup. Fold the paper slightly, so the colored side shows. (Or, you can leave them straight up for "tulips".)
For the rabbits, glue two of the papers, colored side out, to one side of the egg cup. Draw a face.
Last weekend, we went to Tahoe for an overnight stay. Let me start by saying winter is my least favorite season and the end of January is a. Complete. Drag. (ED: yes, I know I said previously that I love January. It's more like the idea of January and new beginnings, not the actual time of year.) I do not like being cold. I don't particularly like snow. I like looking at the snow. Preferably in a cozy cabin, with a warm fireplace roaring, unhealthy snacks, and a good book. I do not however, particularly love being out in it. It's cold and wet and I am not a fan of winter sports. I can't imagine living somewhere where it snows for 4 months out the year. But I do love getting up to Tahoe in the winter. I know. This isn't making any sense. It's the-end-of-January-madness, bear with me, please.
So without further ado, my dos and don'ts for visiting Tahoe in the winter with children. Also, lots of photos.
THE DOS:
Adventure Mountain.$20 per car to park, free use of the hills. Various cost to rent sledding equipment (we brought our own disk).
Adventure Mountain was my son's favorite activity, hands down. It's a snow park at Echo Summit, with several acres of groomed hills for sledding and tubing. They have tons of sledding hills, and it's pretty much a free for all. There were a ton of people there, but the lines move pretty fast. There's also a "lodge" to take a break in. Which is where my daughter and I hung out for the majority of the time:
Not impressed with the snow.
This is an improvement. Sorta.
But mama kisses and a binky inside are where it's at. That's Mama's girl.
The "lodge" was a little shabby (and not in a chic way) but warm and clean as it could be after a long day of people coming in there in wet, winter clothes. There was plenty of seating and a fireplace (but no fire). There was also some sort of concession stand (we didn't buy anything) and some sort of gift shop (which we didn't go in). All in all a good experience and a ton of fun for my oldest. Twenty dollars well spent.
We went to the Red Hut Cafe for dinner. Simple, good diner food. They also had a fun soda fountain next door. Where my children ordered cupcakes instead of sundaes. What the what.
Cabela's (because we can't be that close to a Cabelas' store without stopping. And when I say we, I mean, my husband, the outdoors man).
Places like Cabela's always amuse me because I get to laugh about people who not only shoot a skunk but then have it stuffed for a trophy. My husband hunts and fishes, but I just don't get something like a skunk "trophy."
One of my favorite little towns. They have a great downtown with fun shops and good places to eat. Two of our favorites for the kiddos are:
The Truckee Variety Company Full of fun toys and gifts. It's often super crowded though, and pushing a stroller through there is tight. But it's the place my son always asks to visit in Truckee.
The Treehouse A child's clothing and toy store. Super cute clothes and nice toys (lots of Melissa and Doug, that type of thing).
THE DON'TS:
Heavenly Village. Look. There is nothing wrong with Heavenly Village, a bunch of shops that are an extension of Heavenly Ski Resort. It's just not our thing. It's crowded and loud and expensive. We'd rather be in the snow. Some of us, at least. We originally went here for lunch, because it was fairly close to our hotel. But the restaurant we ate at, while the food was good, was entirely too loud and expensive (like everything in Tahoe). Also, we had wanted to use the ice skating rink, but it was super small and cost $20 per person! Pass.
Altitude Sickness.
Avoid this if you can, as it makes you feel like dying. Trust me, I KNOW.
And finally....
TIPS AND TRICKS:
-Renting a cabin is much better then a hotel, especially if you are staying more than one night. Being able to make your lunch, and have the room to lounge about make a huge difference. We have done both ways, and a cabin is highly preferable. And by the time you add up the costs of all your meals, the cost is about the same.
-The North Shore of Tahoe is much more family friendly.
-Snow clothes on kids under two: good luck to you. If you plan to play in the snow, take your gear with you, in a big bin or bag. That way, you can peel it all off and store it right there, instead of trying to strap wet, bundle up kids into car seats.
I promise, something with actual content soon. January is almost over, real thoughts will return. I hope. Thank you for bearing with me.
ED: I changed "bare with me" to "bear with me." Because I don't actually want to get naked with all of you. Sorry. Curse you spell check. You too, January.
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